Iron Man 3 Movie Review

After falling in love with last summers Avengers, I have been worried that Marvel had reached its peak. Guardians of the Galaxy is due next year and I have faith in that but the solo superhero films recently have not been exactly impressive. Until iron man 3. This movie is more of a sequel to the avengers film as it is to iron man 2. Tony copes with the events of the avengers while still dealing with the antagonist the Mandarin. The movie differs from other marvel films by focusing more on internal struggles than action packed external dilemmas. But that does not make it a bad film. I thoroughly enjoyed the film and Robert Downey Jr. nails it out of the park yet again with his excellent performance as the billionaire Playboy. Jokes are sprinkled throughout the film to lighten up the mood and to remind you this is still a Marvel movie. All in all, I recommend seeing this movie in theaters. 7.5/10

P.s. extra scene at the end of credits!

Why I Disliked the Dark Knight Rises Film

Explicit Language And Spoilers
So today I was discussing the final installment of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy with my friends and their arguments as to why it is the greatest superhero film ever got me revved up to post this rant. Here we go...

Bane In general 
Christopher Nolan claimed that he wanted The Dark Knight Trilogy to be 'realistic' and not all flashy with giant action packed scenes which i commend. But I'm sorry, tell me the realism in a man who we can guesstimate is about 50 years old (Due to the flashback with Talia as a child and how young she looked then and how old he looked) breaking THE BATMAN'S back. This is not your average Joe. We are talking about The Dark Knight and some random fuck who just has this "strength" can pick him up and break his back? Because Nolan wanted a 'realistic' approach to the series, he lacked the privilege of including Bane's MAIN WEAPON which is his venom which makes him strong in the first place. So that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. Second, Bane's mask.... my friends claimed that there was some gas that just keeps him alive. I'm sorry. What? What fucking gas? There was no mention of that in the whole film.Way to be real Nolan. And finally, Bane's weak excuse of a death. Now I've heard the reasoning of his death being what it was because "right when you find out he is just a pawn in Talia's plan, he just becomes a normal person and it doesn't matter." But no Nolan. You cannot do that. This is the villain we have been following the whole film and you just kill him like that? I don't know. Maybe it's just my opinion but I thought it was pathetic. Now this rant is not a rip on Tom Hardy who I believe did an excellent job portraying Bane with voice, personality, and all but let's face it. He did not have the right stature to play Bane. Nolan should have picked someone like Ryback from the WWE who actually has the proper build.

The Ending
I've already heard your excuse for this. It was on auto pilot. If so, riddle me this. What is with the split second scene of Batman in some machinery which you ASSUME is the bat vehicle? My friends defended that he was somewhere else and that was just some machine of his. Bullshit! You witness him take off after kissing Catwoman! Where else would be be? At the fucking batcave? No. And my friend claims that The Bat vehicle is based off of a military vehicle? Um. No. I don't think Batman has the power of traveling 6 miles in 50 seconds. That's wayyyyy too far fetched. Nolan should have just killed him off. If I hear "It wasn't the ending we wanted. It was the ending we needed" one more time, I'm gonna lose it.

Miscellaneous

• I love the man. But even Joseph Gordon-Levitt doesn't have the power to just immediately detect Batman when he enters the room. That was also a far fetched move.
• Bane and his men can just stash away 5 or so motorbikes in the Wall street building and make a cool escape?
• During the motorbike scene where Bruce Wayne first appears as Batman. When the cops chase Batman, that was one of the most ridiculous car chases I've ever seen. There had to have been at least 100 cop cars all chasing one bike. So they just totally forgot their original assignment of chasing Bane and his men? This whole movie was far fetched.
• My friend was speaking out of both ends of his mouth claiming that TDKR was better than Marvel's The Avengers as a superhero movie. How? A superhero movie should have outrageous fight scenes with over the top powers and action. If my friend wants to claim that TDKR is realistic, he cannot also claim that it's better than The Avengers when it comes to action and superhero mannerisms. I've been reading comic books all my life and the fact that these friends of mine claimed to know more about the batman franchise than me (even though they've never picked up a comic in their life) is a slap in the face considering how seriously I take my comic book lore. 

You may have your opinions and I have nothing wrong with that. These are my opinions and my facts to back them up. 

The Amazing Spider-Man Movie Review - WTF

So I saw the new Spider-Man at the midnight release and after thinking about it more and more, my respect for that movie just keeps lowering and lowering. They took everything about Spider-Man and threw it out the window. The only thing they stuck true to was this Spider-Man actually used web blasters unlike the original Spider-Man movie. But just about everything else in this film made me question why people even bother bringing these golden heroes to life on the big screen. Andrew Garfield plays Peter Parker in the film and right from the start, he obliterates Peter's high school life. With the skateboard to his clothes to his attitude and persona. It all didn't add up. Just as i predicted.

So not only was Peter's personality tossed down the drain, but Spider-Man's biggest trait was also given a good beating. His mask and what it stood for. Spider-Man's mask isn't just for looks and to give crooks a scare but it signifies  keeping Parker's identity a secret. It signifies the protecting of his loved ones so his enemies don't hurt them. And with this movie, he seemed to just throw that idea out the window. It seemed that Garfield was throwin' his mask off just for shits and giggles with no rhyme or reason.
Now I will admit the fight scenes with The Lizard were entertaining and the movie did do a good job of capturing Spider-Man's humor in the heat of battle so that was a plus to this movie. But I feel Doctor Octopus's battle with Spider-Man from the original trilogy gave these fights a run for their money.
Another part of this movie I didn't like is related to the trailer. If you view the trailer to this movie, it makes it seem like a story about Peter tracking down his parents and what truly happened to them. But that only takes up maybe the first thirty minutes of the movie and instead of delving deeper into their disappearance, he simply veers off course and fights Curt Connors. But they did seem to redeem themselves a bit with the final scene played after the credits with Connors in his jail cell and a mysterious shadow paying him a visit but I don't think it was enough...
All in all, this movie drastically drifted away form Spider-Man's essence and that did not exactly make a comic book lover like myself very happy. And it saddens me more to think that this is the start to a whole new trilogy. This unfortunately isn't a one-shot. Oh well. After the success of the superhero movie the Avengers, I'll let this one slide.

The Hobbit Trailer

Guys I can't wait. This year, I get to return to the world of Middle Earth (My ideal home is Bag End). The Hobbit is on the horizon. Although the trailer has been out for a few months now, I finally have viewed Peter Jackson's teaser to the prequel of The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit and oh mi god. This movie is going to be epic upon epicness. It's release date is for this December on the 14th, but judging on how awesome movies like this are usually pushed back a few months from it's original release date, I'm not getting my hopes up. I can't wait to see Jackson's vision of The Hobbit. I trust it'll be in good hands after seeing what he did with the trilogy. And Ian McKellen is Gandalf! He played the role perfectly in the earlier films!
Scenes I am looking forward to seeing are ALL Smog scenes, the giants turning to stone, and the riddles with the one and only Gollum... Brace yourselves guy. This is gonna be a real treat.

Rubber - The Most Pointless Movie Ever Reviewed

So not only did I watch the indie hit Hobo With A Shotgun, I also watched the not-so indie hit Rubber. Following a tire named Robert who has physic powers and can blow stuff up, this movie will bore you to death but at the same time, you cannot stop watching... Well for me at least. My girlfriend fell asleep during it. Taking place in the desert, you view a group of randomly assorted people who watch from a distance with binoculars as they watch Robert encounter other human beings. After viewing this film, I feel I wasted 80 minutes of my life but at the same time feel happy that I have that indie under my belt. So if you have time to kill, why not watch this movie? At least you weren't like my friend who went to the midnight premiere in theaters (Yes he actually did that). This movie has absolutely no character development and BARELY any plot. Scratch that. It has no plot. But aside from all it's noticeable flaws, it is humorous and I did catch myself laughing at quite a few parts. But that's only because I enjoy random. You may not find it as funny. All in all, this movie is lame beyond belief but if you're a true movie lover or consider yourself a hipster, this is for you.

Hobo With A Shotgun Reviewed!

A while back, my friend came to school telling me about a movie he had watched on Netflix about a pissed off hobo (Played by Rutger Hauer) who was sick of crime. This is that movie. I had the... pleasure of finally viewing this movie tonight along with the film Rubber. The film was made in 2011 and is so underground, it doesn't even have a rating. The story takes place in a crap city (Probably based off Detroit) where a lonesome hobo drifts on in trying to save up enough money to buy a lawn mower (For $50) until he sees the hellhole the citizens are living in which seems to be ruled by a gang leader known as The Drake. So what to does this mild mannered hobo do? Buy a shotgun and clean up the scum of the streets. Jason Eisener is the director and I like how the movie has an 80's theme to it with a neat techno-ish soundtrack and the film is even vintage/old style. But be warned. This movie is NOT for children. Filled with gore galore, pedophiles, burning children and the f-bomb just about every other word, younger audiences should not be in the room.

Although the film attempts to be serious, you can't help yourself but laugh throughout it at it's cornball setting, dreadful one-liners, and its cheesy effects. It attempts to make you feel for the hobo and his prostitute friend he picks up later in the film but you can't help but not give two shits about them. Despite all the gore and violence, this is a light, fun movie to watch with your friends on a Saturday night. Don't be expecting any deep, moving story because you will not find it here. But I mean were you really trying to? It's called Hobo With A Shotgun for frak's sake.

The Revamped Amazing Spider-Man Movie

So Summer is coming soon and with it comes an all new webslinger which most of you know from the hit The Social Network. Yes Andrew Garfield is back and he's playing the mild-mannered, awkward Peter Parker and all I have to say about this decision is... why? Stan Lee created Parker as a socially awkward, geeky, teenager who is the last person to have a girlfriend and so what does this new movie present? A suave looking young man who girls fall head over heels for and turn him into Spider-Man... nu uh. Not working out for me. Although the graphics look incredible and the are bringing in The Lizard (a.k.a Dr. Curt Connors), I just can't buy it that Garfield is supposed to be Pete. I mean Tobey Maguire played that role perfectly! Yeah he could have had more sarcastic and smart-ass comments while fighting but he got the dorky part spot on! This new Spider-Man movie does show signs of that smart-ass side though so I hope they deliver. That's one of my favorite traits of this costumed hero. Another improvement I see in this film is the change from Kristen Dunst to Emma Stone. Dunst always seemed a bit whiny in the older films and Stone isn't like that. Plus, Stone will be playing Gwen Stacey and NOT Mary Jane which is really cool considering Stacey came before Jane in the comic books. So am I weary of this Parker replacement? Yes. But this does look like a kick-ass movie and I cannot wait to see it once it hits theaters and you better bet I'll be one of the first to be reviewing here on the one and only, The True Life of a Superhero!

2014 Ant-Man Film??

When I saw the line up for The Avengers movie, I must say... they should have at least gotten the original cast right if they were gonna make a movie of the first Avengers... And Captain America was not part of the original team. But you know who was? Ant-Man and The Wasp! Where were they?? I mean yes the movie did show the team fighting Loki as their very first fight together and that was equivalent to the first Avengers comic but what about our tiny little friends?? Well recent news has surfaced that director Edgar Wright (Scott Pilgrim and Shaun of the Dead) is in the process of making an Ant-Man movie based on his origins! There is no talk yet though whether The Wasp will be part of the film (damn). Because Scott Pilgrim is one of my favorite films of all time, I am very excited for this new movie starring a more over-shadowed superhero. But I have one problem. I don't really like Hank Pym. Why? Simple. He's a douche. I mean, he's hit Janet (The Wasp for you less knowledgeable Marvel fans out there) when they were married and he's a man whore... He sleeps around everywhere and a lot.
Now yes, he was replaced by skrulls for a long period of time so who can say what he is guilty for but even after the Secret Invasion incident in the Earth 616 universe and The Mighty Avengers comic series picks up with Hank taking the place of The Wasp (Since she died), I just did not like him... I DO not like him. Yeah he's a genius and gives Mr. Fantastic a run for his money and yeah his suit is pretty sweet but.. bleh. I'm not a big fan of Pym. I mean he even had a thing with Jocasta the robot.. C'mon man. Leave the robot love making and affection to the pros (Master Chief). Regardless, I'm thrilled that Wright is in the process of making this film and I'll be excited to see it. I don't know. Maybe I'll have more appreciation for the character after the movie. Only time will tell.

The Dark Knight Rises: A Conclusion of Epic Proportions... With One Problem

As many of you know, the final installment in the Nolan Batman series is coming to a close with the title The Dark Knight Rises. Being a fan of the first two movies, I'm thrilled to see how it all comes together. But. Being the disective critic I am, I must bring one issue to the table that has been bugging me ever since I first saw the trailer (Which was amazing by the way). What's up with Bane? Really? You're gonna bring The Scarecrow and The Joker to life in such an awe like way and then this is what you do with Bane? Put some guy in a trench coat with a mask on? Where's the bulging muscle? The lack of shirt? The tubes all over his body filling him with the venom that gives him super strength? I mean yes, the Arkham video games do make him a bit... excessive but I mean c'mon Nolan. You can do better than that. I talked to my friend about this issue I'm seeing and he claims that they need to make the movie at least somewhat believable... Really? A superhero movie believable? That's the point of superheroes... to escape this reality. Not to stay in this fixated, conservative world but to escape. So do I agree with my friend's opinion? Frak no. I want the big, buff venom surging Bane I know from the comic books. I wanna see him break Batman's back too like the Knightfall story arc... But that may be asking for too much. I don't know. Maybe I'm being too picky. I just wish that they would stick with the original Bane theme more. Maybe they will and the movie will show him getting bulging muscles with veins popping out later in the movie. But until then, I'll be skeptical. But don't get me wrong guys. I'm excited for the final Nolan movie. I'm sure it'll be amazing and full of awesomeness.

The Classics: A Clockwork Orange Movie Reviewed

I just watched A Clockwork Orange for the first time last night with my girlfriend and I've got to say. What.The.Hell. Taking place in the future of Britain, Stanley Kubrick (Considered to be one of the greatest directors of all time) takes the acclaimed novel of a young man named Alex who is part of a four man gang who dress themselves in complete white clothing and walk around the streets of Britain causing pain everywhere they go. Raping, mugging, and attacking people in general seem to be their specialties. Eventually, Alex gets caught and that's where the movie truly begins. I won't give anything away but wow... I'd have to say one of the greatest tortures ever happens in that movie. And it involves something you would have never guessed would be used for torture. Beethoven.

The movie, although cheesy at some points, is NOT a movie for children. Filled with nudity for about 80% of the movie and disturbing scenes such as rape and fights, it'll be difficult for younger ones to recover from. But if you enjoy weird, quirky and unique movies (Take Requiem for a Dream for example), then you'll enjoy this. One issue I had with the movie was how it seemed to drag out in some parts. They could have easily made this a 100 minute movie compared to a 140 minute time span. Filled with interesting twists (Especially later in the movie), you'll stay interested throughout regardless of the dragged out scenes. All in all, I recommend this film if you're stomach isn't weak. The rape scenes are not as violent and disturbing as I was lead to believe before watching the movie and if you've seen The American version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, you'll be okay. But rape is a very touchy subject and it makes me and many others sick to the stomach thinking about it. Be warned: After watching this movie, you'll never wanna answer your door after dark... "I'm singing in the rain..."

Battle Royale Reviewed: The Foreign Hardcore Version of Hunger Games

Are you a fan of Hunger Games? Do you get off to kids killing kids. Do you like meaningless gore just for the sake of it? What about poorly dubbed English editions of Japanese movies? Then I have the movie for you! Battle Royale! Taking place in the future, Japan has rebelled against their youth by creating a draft like system where a random class across the country will participate in an event called Battle Royale where all the students fight to the death until one student stands. Why would a government do such a thing? Your answer? Why the frak not??? Reading the first half of the novel this movie was based off of, I was expecting graphic violence and gore galore (Considering the book is the most violent and controversial my brain has ever read) but the movie ended up delivering bad acting, horrible English dub (Death Note has seemed to be the only good edition I've ever seen), and awful character development. Apart from the book being dragged out at points, the character development was incredible in it. After being introduced to a character for one chapter, you'd feel for them by the end of it. But they did not deliver this too well in the movie adaption. And who can blame them? The book is like 500 pages and the movie is only 100 minutes long. It's hard for the writers make you feel for 40 different kids in a 100 minute script.

So along with that flaw in the movie, it has meaningless gore (Well so does the book but they delivered it in a badass way). In the movie, it's just cheesy and boring. I caught myself constantly checking just how much longer was left of the film. Now yes, I was watching a bootlegged copy on the internet but still, I was bored. And the acting? Ugh. I've seen Nicholas Cage do a better job! All of them were so dramatic and over the top that it was just a cheese ball fest! So yes, I was expecting more from this movie and no you are not missing out if you don't bother to see it. Now as for the novel? If you enjoy books the length of Harry Potter, then yes! Read the book! It's a fun story and actually came out BEFORE Hunger Games. So if you think this is a knockoff, you'd be wrong. But be warned! If you're going to read the book, make sure you have a strong stomach. It does get pretty visual. All in all, if you're looking for a flick to just laugh at with your friends, have at it. But do not take this movie seriously...

The Avengers Movie Review: Golden

Holy frak. Boy was I wrong about this movie. From the moment I heard of it's release, I had been dissing it thinking it was going to ruin The Avengers as a whole and give the public who don't read comics a bad taste for The Avengers. I was SO off. I honestly can say that The Avengers is most definatly up there with Nolan's The Dark Knight for the greatest super hero movie and it kicks all the other Marvel movie's asses for sure. The action started right from the get go and it was a thrill ride till the very end. A very upbeat and action driven movie, The Avengers keeps you on the edge of your seat. And no my comic book lovers, these heroes are not just facing Thor's half-brother Loki, but also themselves. Without giving anything away, I can say that some of the battles between the heroes was more exciting than when they were fighting the common enemy. And the Hulk?? Oh my gods!!! Best Hulk (In my opinion) that Marvel has ever produced! Edward Norton used to hold that title but Mark Ruffalo snatched that title right from him! He added humor to the script AND kick-ass fight scenes! Now with all of this said in mind, there are a few minor flaws that I didn't like too much. Don't worry, no spoilers are ahead. Okay first of all, the opening credits with the introduction to the movie name was weak to say the least. When THE AVENGERS popped up on the screen, it was kinda bland. They didn't even bother to get the iconic A with an arrow across it right... That kinda ticked me off and secondly, yes Maria Hill was in the movie but considering she was Nick Fury's second hand, I felt she should have played a more important role. They made The Black Widow more of Fury's aide which sort of irked me too. And for you Hawkeye fans out there, don't get your hopes up for a prominent role from your favorite archer. I'm hoping Marvel announces a Hawkeye movie in the months to come. I would love to see how they delve more into his past and life story. Now besides those MINOR flaws, I can say this was a very entertaining movie. Filled with short, fun, humorous one liners (Mainly from Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man) to incredible fight scenes, any comic/movie lover will have a field day with this one. And try to see it in 3-D! It makes the experience 10 times better when you're watching Hulk tear the enemy a new one! I will NEVER diss a movie before seeing it ever again....
P.S. Sorry the review is a little late, I got home at midnight and was too exhausted to write a review. But here it is! Joshman's thoughts!